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A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, ''Sorry, we don't give beer to bears in bars.''
The bear replies, ''If you don't give me a beer, I'll eat that lady over there.''
The bartender says, ''Go ahead.''
So the bear eats the lady and asks for a beer. The bartender says, ''Sorry, we don't give beer to bears on drugs.''
''What do mean,'' says the bear. ''I'm not on drugs.''
''Yes, you are, that was the barbituate.''
A dog walks into an employment agency and says "I'd like to get a job please.". The guy at the employment agency says "Wow, you could easily get a job at the circus with your talents." The dog replys "What would the circus want with a plumber?"
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A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy
cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a
double take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very
valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat
for two dollars.
The storeowner replies "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale.
The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch
mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat."
And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.
The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could
throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to eat and it'll save me from
having to get a dish."
And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this
week I've sold sixty-eight cats."
A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, ''Sorry, we don't give beer to bears in bars.''
The bear replies, ''If you don't give me a beer, I'll eat that lady over there.''
The bartender says, ''Go ahead.''
So the bear eats the lady and asks for a beer. The bartender says, ''Sorry, we don't give beer to bears on drugs.''
''What do mean,'' says the bear. ''I'm not on drugs.''
''Yes, you are, that was the barbituate.''
A dog walks into an employment agency and says "I'd like to get a job please.". The guy at the employment agency says "Wow, you could easily get a job at the circus with your talents." The dog replys "What would the circus want with a plumber?"
/////////////////////////////////////!!!!!!!!!!!!!°°°°°°°°•••°°°•°°°°•°••°°••••°°°°°°°°°°°•••~°°~°••~°~°`~•°~•°~
A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy
cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a
double take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very
valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat
for two dollars.
The storeowner replies "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale.
The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch
mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat."
And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.
The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could
throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to eat and it'll save me from
having to get a dish."
And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this
week I've sold sixty-eight cats."
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